Watching Over Them
by Babi Baker
Summary: "Coulson took of his shades and sighed. It was hard for him not to tell Clint the truth, and it was even harder knowing that the kid was beating himself over his death and that he couldn't help him."


**Watching Over Them.**

Clint got out of the car and walked to one of the most recent graves. He hadn't been there since the funeral, and his chest was about to explode with untold things, so he woke up earlier, bought flowers and visited Phil for the first time.

"Hey. It's been a long time since we last talked. I just wanted to give you an update. We're still living at Stark Tower, I know it's hard to believe but it's true. Sure, there are a lot of death threats, especially from Tasha and me, and constant bickering, but it's almost normal, well as normal as a bunch of freaks like us can get, and it is how I imagine a home must be. There's a lot of things I want to tell you, but I'm afraid I don't have a lot of time, so I'll just make it quick, I want to thank you, Phil, for everything you've done for me, for all of us, and I'm sorry if we didn't show it how we should've, you deserved a lot better than you got, and I'm sorry for that too."

Natasha took place behind him and if Clint was started by her sudden appearance, he didn't show it, he just kept biting his lower lip while a thousand what-ifs and could've-done filled his mind.

"Clint, he knew. Even if we didn't tell him, he knew. He's Coulson, for God's Sake. He could tell how we were feeling with just a glance; of course he knew how grateful we are for everything he has done for us. So stop beating yourself or he might come back from the death just to pinch you with his pen and give you one of his glares."

Natasha sat down beside him, in front of the grave, and took his hand. He smiled in response and continued looking at the tombstone.

"I miss him Nat. I miss his scowls and his freak outs and… I just miss him. And I know it's partly my fault so…"

He was suddenly interrupted by a punch in the arm.

"How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't your fault? It was Loki! He was the one who did all those things, not you. He was controlling you, there's nothing you could've done differently."

"But there was! And that's the problem, I could've fought harder!"

"Did you do your best?"

"Yeah but…"

"Were you prepared for something like this?"

"No, but…"

"There you have it. This is aliens and magic, and everything we weren't trained for, damn, we didn't even believe in magic until a god tried to take over our world."

"There must have…"

"What? There was nothing you could have done against that!"

"Selvigg could."

"Yeah, and you too. We both know you could've killed Fury with a head-shot, yet you aimed at the chest, knowing the man practically sleeps with a vest on. Can you explain me why?"

"No…"

"You know you didn't fight your best against me at the Hellicarrier and I know it too. We've been fighting each other for years and our spars last hours instead of minutes, what can you say to that?"

"I wasn't entirely focused, Loki…"

"Exactly, part of your mind was focused fighting Loki."

As she said that, she could see that Clint still didn't believe it. So she took her last resource.

"Would you have faulted me if it had been me? If Loki had took my mind instead of yours? Would you blame as hard as you're blaming yourself?"

"Tash…"

"Or even better, can you hate me for all the things I've done as much as you hate yourself right now?"

"No."

"Why is that? I don't have an excuse. I was in complete control of my mind at the moment. Maybe I should…"

"No! Don't say that. You didn't know what you were doing!"

"Of course I knew. They gave me a target I killed him."

"It's different."

"How?"

"They weren't your people!"

"No, they weren't. They were innocents who didn't know what was happening. I think that's much worse."

The archer ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"I get it Natasha. I really see your point. But you can't expect me to just forget it."

Natasha took his face with her hands and pressed her forehead against his.

"I don't expect you to. Phil died as a hero; don't take that away from him. He knew what he was doing and I'm sure as hell he would hate to see you like this. _I_ hate seeing you like this."

"I'll try Tasha, but we both know it won't be easy."

"Just try. I'll be here to help you. And if I'd believe in afterlife I would tell you Phil would be here too."

"Knowing him, he's probably already here, watching over us like the mother hen he is."

Natasha smiled, and with a gracefully stood up and helped her partner. As she always would.

At the other side of the graveyard a tall man with a suit nodded in her direction. She returned the gesture with a small smile and kept walking.

Coulson took of his shades and sighed. It was hard for him not to tell Clint the truth, and it was even harder knowing that the kid was beating himself over his death and that he couldn't help him.

At least Clint had Natasha, and they would help each other as they always have done.

One day, when the time was right he would allow Natasha to tell the truth to her partner. For now, he'll have to settle with watching from a distance and receiving updates from the readhead, knowing it wasn't enough, wishing he could make things better and hoping that one day, they would be able to work together again.

**A/N: **This is my first story in English about The Avengers and I really hope you liked it! I was really mad when Coulson said that The Avengers didn't know he was alive in the pilot of Agents of SHIELD, so I decided to write something where at least one of them knew and in the right time would tell the others.

Let me know what you thought of it in a review! See ya!


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